Notice what you like!

Notice what you like about people rather than what you don’t like.

Because, you see, how you think of the person in front of you shapes how they’re going to show up for you.

If you think they’re lovely, warm, generous, happy … you’ll respond to any signs of that, which will encourage them to show more!

And if you think they’re tricky, devious, manipulative … guess what? That’s what will appear.

WHY?

Because you shape other people’s behaviour - just as we shape our dog’s behaviour, (see www.brilliantfamilydog.com for chapter and verse on this) - by paying attention to what you like!

Now I’ve given all my professional tricks away in one sentence!

Reward what you like and you get more of it.

It’s simple Learning Theory, that force-free dog trainers apply to dogs. The science is always about 60 years ahead of the practice in the general population, but it is gradually seeping through to dog-owners that rewarding your dog will produce more of what you rewarded.

And punishing your dog makes them worse - and distrustful into the bargain.

Many dog trainers have known this for years - but many of them, sadly, don’t realise it applies to every sentient being we come in contact with. And some still have a fearsome reputation (unfortunately well-deserved) for being nice to dogs and simply beastly to their owners!

The moral of this story?

You can manage how your interactions with other people go. People who seem to get on well with everyone have mastered this ability. Most of us need to have it pointed out to us, then practice and learn!

And NO, it’s not manipulation. Unless getting people happier and enjoying life more is manipulation. It’s a way of getting the best out of people, and everyone benefitting.

In other words, “Do as you would be done by” (to quote Charles Kingsley’s Mrs. Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By in The Water Babies)!

It’s that simple.

And for heaven’s sake - avoid Mrs. Be-Done-By-As-You-Did aka the punisher mentioned above.

Would you like to learn more about these concepts?

Let me know in the comments below!