Shame? Whose?

I can remember it now.

The shame.

I had asked a question and I was trampled.

I was about 7 or 8. I’d spilt something in art class. The teacher tossed me a cloth and told me to clear it up.

So, all bright and keen, I did! I loved Art. Then I went up to her and said, “Where should I put the cloth?”

Now, I don’t know whether she had a headache, had had a row with her husband, or just hated children that day, but her reply - whip fast - was, “Round your neck! Where do you think?”

That’s the bit I can remember. So clearly. Standing there in the classroom shocked and ashamed.

And totally baffled!

I felt as if the dirty wet cloth was round my neck, as the room swirled around me, making me feel sick and dizzy.

I had done what I was told, and had asked sooo politely … and I was being attacked. The injustice hit me hard.

It wasn’t me who should have felt ashamed!

I’m afraid it’s just one of so many injustices we suffer, especially as children. And they can each have a lasting effect on us!

Look at me, so many years later, still clearly remembering this incident!

And these injustices heap up on each other, chipping away at our self-confidence, until we’re afraid to step out of line for fear of being snapped at - “Round your neck! Where do you think?”

On that occasion, it wasn’t about me. It was something in the teacher’s head that caused this outburst. And yet I took it totally personally, wondering what on earth I’d done wrong.

Now I have to add, “doing something wrong” was something I apparently specialised in - I was forever in trouble, and managed to get expelled from three schools! But despite all these types of incidents, my spirit stayed unbroken.

Battered, yes. But not broken!

We need to rise above this type of knee-jerk response from people. We need to remain convinced of our own worth. And we need - we so need! - to make sure we don’t perpetuate this scathing attitude by making clever remarks at someone else’s expense.

Are you still reeling from real or imagined slights from years back, that are preventing you believing in yourself?

Come and join us in Creativity Central - our private group for ordinary people who want to live extraordinary lives!