Are you should-ing all over yourself?

We grow up being told what to do.

We take it for granted that our elders and betters are - not only elder, but better!

But now you’re all grown up and you can see how little they actually did know!

•   They didn’t know everything!

•   We don’t know everything!

•   We never know everything.

The best we can do is our best. And that’s what your parents were most likely doing for you. Passing on what they thought was the way things were.

And as we grow up and become ourselves, we have the opportunity to view life differently. Not to stay stuck in the mould we were formed in. A chance to think our own thoughts, do things our way, strike out!

But how many of us stay stuck?

We stay thinking exactly what we were taught. We spend our time telling ourselves what we SHOULD think, what we SHOULD do.

This is a shadow from the past!

You are a whole person. You don’t have to depend on what people thought 20 - 30 - 50 years ago!

You can formulate your own life-view, your own thoughts for how things should be. And you are free to do this!

No SHOULDs, 

No OUGHT-TOs.

Just I WILL or I DO. 

Guilt?

Coupled with this is the idea that you are always feeling slightly guilty. That whatever you’re doing - you should be doing something else!

So many people feel this! There is a constant background rumble of dissatisfaction in their lives. All day, every day, they think they’re missing the mark; always in the wrong place; at the wrong time … a day late and a dollar short.

I SHOULD be working, you say as you lounge in your favourite armchair.

I OUGHT TO be taking a break, you say as you soldier on at your work.

I SHOULD keep up with old friends …

I OUGHT TO make this or that change … 

There’s a danger that you spend all your time - instead of focussing on what you ARE doing - thinking instead about what you think you OUGHT TO be doing!

You’re not living in reality. You’re living somewhere else. You’re not enjoying the moment.

So how to fix this?

It’s getting out of indecision and into action that will stop you SHOULD-ing and OUGHT-TO-ing all over yourself!

And as a Transition Coach, it’s great to see people able to focus on what they really want to achieve, quitting the SHOULDs and OUGHT-TOs, and actually getting it done!

Make a start by watching some of the Live Trainings in Creativity Central - you’ll find them in the Guides, and you’re bound to find one that hits the spot!