So what should you expect instead?

We were looking at the kind of nonsense we take seriously when we’re deciding to follow our passion.

Thoughts of insufficiency, and worse - implied criticism or disrespect from those who should be supporting us!

So what should we be saying instead of “I’m a failure”?

How about “I can succeed in whatever I put my mind to!” Or if you’re really convinced you are no good, how about “I haven't managed this before, but this time I will!”

It’s all about fulfilling expectations

  What you expect is what you get.

I’ll say that again, so you really get it! What you expect is what you get.

If you expect your child to behave badly at a party that is what you’ll be looking for,

And that’s what you’ll see. It’ll become a self-fulfilling prophecy!

You’ll pick out all the moments when she was selfish or unkind, or self-important, or just a pain in the neck and you’ll turn that into your perception of what happened.

All children behave badly at parties! But why not look for the good moments and celebrate them!

Notice when she held back from grabbing the food, didn’t cry when she didn’t win a game, thanked the party-giver when she left. These are the good things you want to focus on.

You are more likely to find those good things repeated and becoming habits of their own if you mark and reward those things you like in your child’s behaviour, or your dog’s, or YOUR OWN!

This is scientifically proven.

It’s not airy-fairy woo-woo stuff.

It’s a fact that what you reward is what is likely to happen again, and what you expect is what you get! Do you see what I’m getting at here? That what we EXPECT will shape our future - as well as our children’s and our dog’s!

It’s one of the things my Design your Future clients work on - to learn how to look at their situation realistically so they can develop a habit of realistic thinking that will support them in getting where they want to be, where they EXPECT to be!

Self-talk

So I want you to become more aware of how you talk to yourself. It’s at the bottom of that procrastination and perfectionism (that’s just procrastination with bells on) that are STOPPING you getting what you want out of this one, exciting, precious, life we have!

Sometimes this unsupportive self-talk comes from an unsupportive upbringing. And most schools seem to be guilty of engendering this! Certainly back in my day you were far more likely to be put down for something you did or failed to do than to be celebrated for your achievement. It may be different now but frustrated teachers can still snap. School systems can still promote this critical approach.

But maybe it wasn’t school for you but a family who never expected to rise above where they and their parents were. They think you should keep in your place, not expect too much for fear of your hopes being dashed.

OR, if you’re female, it may just be the patriarchal system we live in that has made you feel insufficient. Fortunately this is changing - slowly but surely - though there are still bastions of resistance in everyday life!

It’s in watching what you say to yourself that will dictate your habits. You’ll choose to do things that move you forward because you are THINKING things that move you forward. Once you’re thinking the right things regularly without having to make a meal of it, such thoughts will become automatic. A new habit is formed! Now you know that what you focus on is what you get.

 So make sure your focus is in the right place!

Habits can be great and helpful devices saving you time with repeated patterns. So long as you make them with thought and don’t just allow them to seep in …

So are you ready to change your thinking patterns? Are you ready to stop wasting time in self-pity and get moving to your dream?

Do message me when you have your first major success in this change!

I’d love to hear.

You do get how important this is, right? Realising that we control our own future by controlling our own thoughts? 

I just want to be sure …