What do you want? Well, what DON’T you want?

Finding out what you really want in life can be very hard - especially if you’ve spent your life up to now doing what others wanted, dictated, and chose for you!

So how can you find out for sure what you really want?

I was brought up to be seen and not heard. Very Victorian idea about children - and I have to say my parents failed dismally in that respect!

Now - they were lovely people who did their absolute best for me. I was very fortunate in my family. But they were THEM. They weren’t ME. And what they thought was best for me … wasn’t.

I tried to fit in for years. I tried to do what was expected of me. I really tried! Do well in school, get the right job, marry the right person, be a responsible citizen …

But as you can see … I eventually found my voice! And I found it by realising what I really wanted to achieve in my lifetime. What legacy I wanted to leave behind. What impact I really wanted to have.

So how did I find out what my purpose was? 

I started by eliminating from my life what I didn’t want. What didn’t make me happy, give me satisfaction, pleasurable anticipation. 

Like working to someone else’s plans. Taking someone else’s shilling and devoting my own abilities and skills to THEIR dream. If I didn’t look forward every day to going to work - then I should no longer be there. 

And like fitting in with what society seemed to expect, when I KNEW I had something to offer … if only I could find it! I didn’t have to fit the mould of selfless wife and mother - I could carve my own path!

You see, you can find out what you want by establishing what you DON’T want.

Once you’ve got a clean slate you can start narrowing down your options

 You’ve cleared away all the things you don’t want. Maybe your job is one of them?! But you’ve still got to earn a living …

Here comes the exciting part! What are you good at or interested in, that other people need? What do people ask you for help with? That can give you a clue to your gifts!

In my case, people started asking me how to change their dog’s behaviour, when they saw what I was achieving with my own dogs. This sparked more learning and ultimately my career as an international dog trainer, coach, and author! 

And it all came from what lighted me up, and what inspired others!

So what do people ask you for help with?

What do you love spending time on?

Are you able to visualise what it is people ask of you? 

Now you’re able to see clearly! 

So have you thought of something where people respect your opinion?

It could be your ability to understand children; it could be your eye for detail in interior design; it could be your skill with a needle and fabric; maybe you have an eagle eye for spelling mistakes and misprints; maybe you have strong humanitarian views; perhaps you’re a whiz with getting plants to grow organically; maybe you’re really good at planning schedules and organising ...

If people are asking you, then they need your help. You’ve found a gap in the market! There is an opening for you to bring your expertise and skills to help others. 

Working out what you REALLY want does take time, reflection, and no little skill. 

Sometimes we’re too close to the problem. We can’t see through the jungle of thoughts and opinions we have grown up round ourselves. That’s where a mentor can help. I’m here - try me!